What a deep and touchy subject. Expectations can mean so many different things to different individuals. My expectation of earning a good grade could be totally different than yours, I mean what is a good grade to you? Some view it as “passing is good enough” but I, in my perfectionistic own little world, would in no way be satisfied with that. But even with several different ideas about expectations, there is one thing in common, everyone has them.
My expectations used to disappoint me to no end. After all, why can’t people think the way I do…why can’t they act the way I do…why won’t they be the way I want them to be? My expectations continually set me up for disappointment. Some friends and even a few family members used to drive me fricken nuts because they didn’t see the world through my eyes. So I would get loaded just to hide the ever-lasting frustration.
Now that I have been clean and sober for almost 17 years, I view expectations in a much different way. Sure I still have high expectations for myself, but I can’t do anything to change others so it’s more acceptance now than expectations. Wow, what a load off! I accept my friends and family for who they really are. They don’t have to see things the way I do. In fact, it makes life way more interesting for me to hear different opinions and thoughts. The little nuances and habits that used to bother me don’t any more. I tell myself, “That’s just the way they are” and it makes accepting people in my life so much easier.
Expectations for myself, I can deal with. I can manage. But I know when I start setting unrealistic expectations for those in my life, it never turns out good.